Christmas in the City

Christmas must go on! Despite over 12" of snow falling throughout the night, John Fisher, Maggie Fisher, Anna Dolan, John Bleday and myself piled in the Four-Runner to weather the elements and spread Christmas Joy to over 2,000 inner city children. Christmas in the City is a massive Christmas party at the Bayside Expo Center full of food, games, music and of course, Santa. If Santa was going to make it all the way from the North Pole, then we certainly had no excuse.

We were assigned to the "Casas Esperanzas: Latinos y Ninos" shelter. The shleter name was a little unnerving seeing how none of us are competent spanish speakers. Luckily for us they turned out to speak English. Phew! By the time all the volunteers showed up, one shleter leader found herself with 3 tables, and zero volunteers. Pete, John and John to the rescuse. We jumped ship, leaving our new friends at "Casas Esperanzas: Latinos y Ninos" to help the "Finix House". John Bleday and I stood at the front door with our "Finix House" signs for about 80 minutes until we were told that the families from Finix House decided to follow suit of their volunteers and stay home. Back to Casas Esperanzas.

The music started and oh boy did the party pick up. Everyone had a great time playing catch, chasing each other, or just dancing. Fish had the privelege of being told by a seven year old girl that he "sucked" and everyone had a blast throwing things at Bleday. Good stuff. My claim to fame with the kids was being the guy that would make a "hoop" with his arms so they could slam dunk. Give a few of those kids a contract. I was impressed.

After the meal we were approached by a man with a headset (this guy means business) who asked us to follow him. "Are we going on the stage?!" I asked enthusiastically. "No, you are going in front of the stage. We need some security for Santa." Nothing screams security like three cross country runners wearing holiday sweaters. The Boston Celtics' Dancers accompanied Santa on stage and when I waved to them, five of the seven waved back. Not too shabby.

The "elves" finally arrived with the presents and everyone was super excited. A seven year old boy named JJ asked if I wanted to play with his new stuffed animals with him. Do I! I was only hoping he would ask!
-"So JJ, whats the name of your lamb?"
- (First he said that it was a monkey, not a lamb. Sorry, but he was wrong.) "His name is Jeff."
-"Cool, whats the name of the shark?"
-"He's Mike"
-"He does look like a Mike. What about the lizard?"
-"Jake."
-"Good call. Whats the name of your snake"
-"Danger"



The snake's name was Danger. Awesome.


John Fisher doing his part and setting some place settings prior to the arrival of guests.


Those rolls look delicious don't they? They weren't.

While waiting for our shelter to arrive I finally met my hero: Buzz Lightyear! Great moment or greatest moment? He wasn't very chatty.

John Bleday holding his handmade sign for the Finex House Shleter. If only they showed up...


Bleday looking for a ball to play catch with a little girl.

Quite possibly the two happiest volunteers of all time.

Fake snow fight!

My pal JJ dancing with his sister.

Luckily those little girls were there to teach me how to dance.

Finally, time to open the presents! Way to help out John-O!

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

I think it is about time we dropped this expression. Sliced bread was first sold in 1928, advertised as "the greatest forward step in the baking industry since bread was wrapped." That I can agree with. However, there has been so much that has surpassed the greatness of sliced bread between 1928 and the present. How about the invention of Play Doh? Or the Microwave oven? Crazy Core Skittles anyone? Come on!

I don't even get what is so special about pre-sliced bread in comparison to a full loaf of bread and a sharp knife. Who is the one to tell me how thin or thick my slice of bread is going to be? I am a man who likes to be in charge! Sliced bread does expedite the sandwich making process, I will give it that. i just think its time we moved on from our love affair with sliced bread.

On a similar note, "The Bee's Knees" means the height of excellence? Why? What use do bees have for their knees? Who is responsible for the popularity of this phrase? On the the other hand, I can fully understand "The cat's Pajamas". I will admit to never have seen cat's pajamas, but I am certain they would live up to their hype.

American Bouldering Series in Boston

I decided to go climbing on Wednesday and found over half the holds in the bouldering section had been taken down. “When will they set the new bouldering routes?” I asked on my way out. “They should be up by Friday.” the guy said. “There is a competition on Sunday”. My budding interest in rock climbing prompted me to question how those competitions work. I was just curious and had no intention of actually entering such an event. “Well you need to register by 9:00 if you want to enter the youth competition, or 11:00 for the adult divisions. Being 18 years old it is up to you.” I gol’ed*, he thought I was asking because I wanted to enter. “Oh no, I don’t consider myself quite at the competitive level, I just am curious to how the scoring works, and what the scene is like at one of those things.”

As I was driving home, pumping the Christmas Carols, I thought more about the preposterous idea of clumsy me in a USAC sanctioned bouldering competition. I had been looking for something to fill the void of athletic competition ever since my last game of pick-up basketball at the Lincoln County YMCA over a month before. Here is what I decided: I would head back to the climbing gym on Friday, check out the new routes and only then would I decide whether I should spend my Sunday afternoon watching football or ripping my hands apart.

I waited until around 9:00 Friday night to head on over to Rock Spot climbing. I just didn’t want to be there as twelve year old girls climbed routes that I could only dream of climbing. My pride was still sore from the last time that happened. Of course that’s a story for another time. Anyways, the new routes were up and I was excited to explore. No longer than ten minutes into the session, my left tricep started burning. I had to call it a night, it appeared I pulled or strained my tricep. It hurt to lift my arm. “Well, did you warm up before you started climbing?” Umm no? Lesson learned. My recon mission, to use computer geek lexicon, was an Epic Fail.

It was too late though, my heart was set on entering this competition. I iced my arm the rest of the weekend, and probably consumed my weight in ibuprofen. One question remained: Youth or Adult division? If I entered the Youth division I would either beat a bunch of thirteen year olds, or more likely, get my butt handed to me by a bunch of thirteen year olds. Neither option really appealed to me. I have a reputation to uphold. Adult division it is.

So it turns out that adult climbers that are not amazing at climbing do not enter competitions. I probably should have seen that coming. Nonetheless, I was entered, warmed up and ready to go. I was partnered with Brandon, from Rhode Island. I was to keep score for him, and he was to keep score for me. A symbiotic relationship you might say. Let the climbing began!

I had a rough start to the day. After falling three times on my first attempted route, Brandon realized that I was not exactly what you would call a “contender”. That’s when Brandon really started to be cool. First, he gave me one of his chalk bags, and then he started giving me advice and encouragement. Some commonly heard phrases included: “Try the one above you left hand” “Keep your body control” “you got it man” ‘There ya go!” What a guy! The next two hours were filled with heartbreak (slipping off the final hold of the same route six times) and ecstasy (pretty much any time I completed a problem). 2:30 and it was time to hand in the score sheets.

What place did I come in you ask? Not important. (Last place, by over 4,000 points). I got a “competitor” ribbon and a hand shake from the award ceremony guy. What more could I ask for? Overall, it was a good day at the Rock Spot.

*gol: giggle out loud. I guess it would make more sense to write g’ed ol. Whatever.

Things That Are Underrated

A few observations I have made about the little things in life that deserve more respect than they are given. Certainly not complete, and in no order:

1. Good Hair Days

Those rare days when your hair looks just right. I think I’ll keep my hat on my bed post today, thank you.

2. Farmers

Farmers do not get nearly enough credit for the amount of nutrition they provide humanity.

3. Temporary tattoos

I feel as if temporary tattoos aren’t used to their full potential by our generation. A tattoo of Donald Duck on your bicep will surely make you look tougher.

4. Cool shaped clouds

Clouds themselves are under rated, especially the cool looking ones. The problem is that we are spoiled with clouds. If huge white puffy shapes in the sky only existed under special circumstances, they would be considered one of the most spectacular displays on our planet.

5. Being on time

It is so pleasant when you make plans and all parties arrive within a few minutes of the agreed upon time.

6. Secret hand shakes

A good secret handshake with someone will no doubt make everyone around you jealous. Isn’t that what everyone wants?

7. Jeopardy

The classic question and answer show developed by Merv Griffin. Consistently entertaining, and more importantly educational. Only one question: Alex Trebek with or without the mustache?

8. New socks

Never again will that pair of socks be as clean, soft and full of possibilities.

9. Kevin Durant

The guy is averaging 27.7 points per game, on one of the worst teams in the NBA. He can score from anywhere. Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about him?

10. Exact Change

What else is there to say about exact change? It just makes life easier.

11. Nice People

Funny people are always getting all the attention. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of the humorist, but it’s such a pleasure to spend time with people that are genuinely nice and respectful.

12. Scary Halloween costumes

Nowadays everyone tries to be funny or clever with their Halloween costume. I certainly still appreciate the zombie bride, or a well done Dracula.

13. The variety of toothpaste flavors

Gone are the days when all you could put on your tooth brush was water and baking soda. Take a stroll down the oral hygiene aisle in CVS and you will find spearmint, peppermint, bubble gum, vanilla, cinnamon, citrus, etc.

14. Good commercials

Commercials can be super annoying, particularly during an interesting television program. However, a witty advertisement always brings a smile to my face.

15. Going to bed early

Feeling refreshed and well rested every few days is just wonderful.

16. Yellow First Down Line

I couldn’t imagine watching a game of football on TV without the yellow line. An award winning television development.

17. Puzzles and Board Games

Very Underrated way to spend your time. Both can be very relaxing and rewarding.

18. The First Dip of the Knife in a New Jar of Peanut Butter

This is similar to the feeling of a new pair of socks, and also the first scissor cut into a fresh piece of construction paper.

19. Revolving Doors

Eliminates direct exposure to the outside temperature which conserves energy. More importantly, eliminates the awkward 'should I hold the door open for this dude?' moment.

20. The Beach Boys

Amazing vocals. That is all.



That is all I can think of tonight.

DoleFish Studios, Back Again?

Here is a teaser to the latest motion picture from DoleFish studios. Scheduled to be released in full between sometime next summer and never. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_8f46dwNzI